Thank goodnessFamily Guyis an animated cartoon, otherwise it would be too mature for TV audiences. The comedy is grand, but if altered to give it realistic effects and situations, it would be a tough watch. And one of the biggest contributors to why it would be so violent and terrible would be Brian Griffin. The saying “all dogs go to heaven” needs to have an asterisk for this animated pooch.
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Brian has done many awful things like attempt to cheat with his best friend Peter’s wife Lois, run away with his friend Joe’s wife, drink excessively, vomit when thinking about sex with a trans person, and treat religious and conservative folks like mentally impaired persons. But even those moments don’t hold a candle to some of his low points that makeFamily Guythe shocking show that it is.
13Inventing Two Characters To Be With Kate
to have a relationship with a blind woman named Kate, Brian pretends to not be a dog. Worse, he stages events that make him appear incredibly romantic, like saving her from muggers and taking her to Paris. When he gets caught and she ends the relationship, he pretends to be another fictional persona named Noah to continue to date her.
12Selling His Bogus Self-Help Book
It’s bad enough to sell a book that isn’t effective and claim that it will help change people’s lives. But Brian makes it even worse by treating Stewie, who is the sole reason for its success, and everyone else in his life like they are beneath him. He’s exposed as a fraud publicly on Bill Maher, mercifully putting an end to his antics.
11Absent Father With One Awful Exception
Brian is forced to spend time with his child, Dylan, and after they craft a bond, he fails to contact Dylan again. That is until he finds out that Dylan is an up-and-coming actor, and Brian tries to weasel his way into resurrecting his writing career by having Dylan give him a job. After acting like an insufferable and getting himself fired, he goes back to being absent in Dylan’s life.
10Sending Martha To Prison
It’s bad enough to learn that Brian was caught by his co-worker Martha fantasizing over pictures of her mother and sister at a funeral. But that’s not the worst of it.
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To prevent Martha from getting him fired, he plants drugs on her desk and calls the police to have her arrested. And all this is moments after Martha reveals that she decided not to say anything and forgive him.
9Ripping Off Quagmire
Quagmire and Brian have had an antagonistic relationship for a long time and it’s not getting better anytime soon. When Quagmire extends an olive branch to Brian and helps him get his teeth fixed, Brian gets into real estate and repays this gesture by lying about an investment property and ripping off the only person who helped him.
8Getting Pot Re-Illegalized
Brian and Stewie are largely to thank for getting pot made legal in Quahog, which would be a rare net good for the ill-intended dog. Unfortunately, this net good is short-lived as Brian receives an offer from Carter to make pot illegal in exchange for getting his book published. He takes the deal and sets a record by having a book with zero sales ever.
7Gives Family (And Others) Herpes
Instead of warning Chris and Stewie about his herpes, Brian becomes blood brothers with them. They get a lifelong disease as payment for their trust. It’s not just these family members either; Brian is frequently engaged in relations with others who could get the disease as well who have no idea that Brian has herpes.
6Trying To Get With Patty
Brian has no interest in Patty, even finding her slightly annoying, until he walks in on her dressing. He then crafts a fake personality to have sex with the underage girl. Meg steps in and stops him before he engages in the illegal behavior, but it’s still filthy that he tried.
5Shooting A Random Waiter
How bad a guy is Brian? Well, the fact that a straight-up murder isn’t at the top of the list says it all. While trying to save Meg, Brian gets ahold of a gun and shoots some bad guys.
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Instead of being content to shoot more bad guys, though, he decides to take a shot for target practice and hits an innocent waiter on a nearby ship, killing him.
4Attempted Assault Of High School Girls In The Restroom
Stewie and Brian go in disguise to Chris' school to try and find out why he has been nominated as homecoming king. Instead of sticking to the plan, though, Brian runs into two underage girls and starts to flirt with them. He then follows them into the restroom hoping for a disgusting three-way. Thankfully, security catches him and throws him out. Instead of learning a lesson, Brian moans about the “culture of fear” without realizing that he’s the reason the culture of fear exists.
